I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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