literally had 100 drinks last night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
