Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize