Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
