is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
