just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
