But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
