Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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