you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
