I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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