Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i came on her dog
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize