the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
