I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just had sex bonerless
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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