ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
