my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
