she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
