pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
