youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
