Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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