So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
