Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
