So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
