Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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