I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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