Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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