some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
