So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
