My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
