I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
