Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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