he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
