In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
