The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
