new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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