I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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