I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
well you can't waste a boner
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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