Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
