I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
