I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
