there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
