what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
