I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
