he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
