DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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