I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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