this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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