there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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