Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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