so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
