Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
