Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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