Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
