i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i think i just lost a toe
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
