If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
