Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
