Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
