Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize