What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
