My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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