If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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