I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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