I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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