This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
