I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
