im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
