I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
