There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
