I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
