Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
